Note from the editor: Welcome to the latest edition of the Canabal Chronicle, a light-hearted take on life in Canabal: a rural village in the province of Lugo, Galicia, Spain.
UFO Crash Lands in Canabal.
Terrified residents sought sanctuary in the church of San Pedro as rumours circulated of an alien invasion. Earlier in the day, an anonymous source reported hearing a “strange whirring sound” moments before a plume of smoke billowed into the air.
Those unable to get to church buried their head in the sand and hoped for the best.
Reporters at the Chroncile were initially sceptical of the claims but later in the day, photographic evidence emerged. Two alien survivors were snapped walking towards the church. One of the space travellers appeared to be severely injured, either that or it was the headless horseman. Its companion seemed to have walked away from the wreckage unscathed. Locals have named the creature Centaur, although it sounds Greek to me.
Other images soon appeared across social media. One such photo, posted by someone calling themselves James T Kirk, was nicknamed the Duckbilled Triffid from Titan 3.
A local resident was quick to point out that it was no such thing. They commented that it was in fact a “rather tasty fungus.” Maria agreed stating that, “It’s delicious fried in olive oil with spicy chorizo and served with scrambled eggs.”
Other hoaxers were quick to jump on the social media bandwagon. José’s offering was far less convincing. Local residents recognised his jacket, helmet, and motorcycle, instantly.
Ripper Strikes Again
The search continues for the tomato thief of Canabal, aka the Ripening Ripper.
Authorities have urged residents to pick their crop early and let them ripen off the vine. This extreme measure comes as police are no nearer catching the thief. Heading up the investigation is local sniffer dog Inspector Slawit.
She’s constantly on the lookout and has been busy questioning all known cat burglars. Some residents have complained of discrimination and unfair harassment but Inspector Slawit was having none of it. “I like cats just as much as the next deputy dog,” she was quoted as saying.
Later in the week, hopes were raised when a deputised posse cornered a suspect taking refuge in a plane tree. Just as an arrest seemed imminent, the alleged offender escaped capture by taking flight. The search continues.
Tomorrow’s Technology Today
Canabal leads the way in design and innovation.
A local man is claiming to have invented the world’s first, 100% recycled window box watering system, dubbed the Tub-on-a-Pole.
Even though the patent is pending, its designer was happy to disclose the complicated and revolutionary manufacturing process. Its creator, who prefers not to be named said, “It’s just a tub on a pole”.
Early trials highlighted a few minor design flaws, “I can’t see what I’m doing,” he was quoted as saying, “If it wasn’t for the wife guiding me, I don’t know what I’d do”. His wife confirmed her role in the trial, “More water fell on me than the plants,” she chuckled. When asked why he didn’t just lean out of the upstairs windows to water the plants, he paused for a moment before replying, “That’s a good idea”. Since speaking with the Chronicle further product trials have temporarily been suspended.
Sports Desk.
The winner of this year’s Canabal Open Golf Championship, sponsored by the Canabal Chronicle, was none other than our editor in chief, Craig Briggs. On a testing course, he recorded a personal best score of 6 under par, 65. In his acceptance speech he thanked the groundsmen for preparing a near perfect course stating that, “It was just like playing on Astro Turf.”
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This issue of the Canabal Chronicle was brought to you by Craig Briggs, author of The Journey series of books.
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